FORGIVNESS

     Just finished watching Sid Roth's program for this week entitled Hearing the voice of God.   As I think about all the ways I've heard His voice it make me wonder why I've heard Him so many times, obeyed Him and went to many places in the world and yet I still have a problem listening to what He is saying to me? 
I think it may be because I hold on to the things that have hurt me so tightly and sometime refuse to let go of them.  I take hurt so personally as if I were the only person who has ever been hurt in exactly this way.  Could it be that I am addicted to grief and sorrow. 

     I excuse myself by knowing that I feel the hurt and pain deeply so that I nurse it and rehearse it until it gets so very old and feeble I have to let it go or die with it. (:~) 

     Yesterday morning I read a monthly email written by a professional writer whom I've met and greatly respect.  He said that we have to feel the hurt before we can let it go.  He talked about how he had a grudge that he held onto for years and kept saying he had forgiven the guy.  However when his wife asked if he had really forgiven him since he was still bringing it up so often.  He realized he had not forgiven him at all.  He was able to forgive the man after that but also stated that before forgiveness can come to us we need to fully feel the hurt that was caused by the offence. 

All that was said to bring me to this... Yesterday I realize a new hurt that had been brewing inside me and I suddenly felt the pain of rejection and the wound it was causing.  Last night while talking to a close friend I related to her the new hurt that was brewing inside me. 

Her comment to me was,  "You have to let that go!" 
My reply back to her was, "Yep I know but I have to feel it at least for one day!" 

With that in mind I have decided to never nurse or rehearse a hurt more that a day!  

Now that my story and I'm sticking to it!